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A not so ma’am day | Home of the ShyFilker

A not so ma’am day

Yesterday I went to Costco.

I was getting prepared for my son’s twelfth birthday. He wants to go to “The Maze Runner” with three or four of his friends.

Myself, being myself, I was going to be the Ninja Mom and do it all for pennies on the dollar. I’m going to bring pride to my Swiss and Scottish ancestors by having a party that runs like clockwork and is thrifty as well. Costco sells theatre tickets at a discount.

I’m Thrifty! I’m doing well –and then comes The Woman

She was smoking a cigarette and hanging out by her open car door,-right next to the passenger side of my van. Randy (my husband) was there with me, taking a break from the job hunt) and he was drivng.

I waited for her to see me and get out of the way of the door so that I could get in the van. And then I waited some more . . . She wasn’t noticing.

I thought about , I don’t know, clearing my throat, giving her a little nudge, but I didn’t. I stood there as she talked to the person in the passenger side of her car and I did nothing.

She glanced my way out of the corner of her eye and glanced away again. I was clearly not an issue she was concerned about.

I took a look at her and I . . I chickened out. She looked kinda rugged. She had a beer belly and weathered skin. She was wearing cut off denim shorts and a tank top under a home bleached blonde hairstyle that said “I’m Tough” I didn’t think I was so tough.

I tapped on the window of the van and motioned my husband to back up so that the passenger side door of the van would be out of her talking space. He looked at me, kinda puzzled, probably thinking “Why doesn’t she tell that freaking person to move?”

It took a couple of tries with knocking and pantomime to get my message across to my husband. Meanwhile the tough blonde gave me a couple of irritated glances-I was probably infringing on her conversation. The whole time I’m thinking, “She is going to be so embarrassed when she realizes what I’m doing and what a *%@ she’s been.”

Not so much.

She casually turned her back on me as I managed to convey my intentions to my husband and he backed  the van upto the point where I could open the van door and get in the car.

Bleached blonde  one

Me  zero


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